


The PB+J War

by ClexaOtaim



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Food Fight, POV Bisexual Character, Time Travelling Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 22:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13866963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClexaOtaim/pseuds/ClexaOtaim
Summary: “So you’re the bastard who keeps taking my lunch from the work fridge” (Prompt)An Avalance One-Shot





	The PB+J War

Sara was hungry. The team had just finished a mission that had lasted DAYS. Saving a medieval English peasant village from a tyrannous Russian dictator from the 40s was satisfying but not easy when the only thing to eat was a form of grey, tasteless, watery oatmeal. Mick had been happy enough to live off the village’s ale but right now, Sara could murder a cheeseburger. However, before she could order Gideon to create every type of fast food she could think of, the team had been ordered to the Time Bureau. Sara had texted Ava but her girlfriend was in the field and had no idea why they’d been ordered to her place of work. Now they were sat in a boring room that resembled a secondary school staff room with grey walls, grey furniture and a small, sad looking kitchen unit that consisted of a few cupboards, a sink and a fridge. They had been waiting for 20 minutes and after Sara’s stomach grumbled for what felt like the hundredth time, she got up and stalked towards the fridge. 

Ray startled, confused. “Sara, what are you doing?”

“I’m hungry.”

“So you’re gonna steal some poor Time Bureau agent’s lunch?”

Sara smiled, and turned towards Ray. “Relax, Ray, I’m not gonna eat anything that’s labelled. Fair?”

Nate frowned. “Or you could just wait till we get to the Waverider so that you don’t end up stealing anything?”

“Look you guys, I don’t know about you, but I am beyond starving and I just want to eat something that’s not grey slop from medieval England. If these people leave their food in the fridge, they’re just asking for it to be eaten by someone else.”

Zari giggled. “Or they just don’t want their food to get all warm and gross?”

Sara rolled her eyes and turned back to the fridge. Some sandwiches…labelled James H. Ugh. Next. There were several bottles of water that were all grouped together so Sara assumed they were for everyone. She took one out and placed it on the counter. Now for some food. There were a few salads on one shelf. Sara groaned inwardly. Was she that desperate for food that she’d resort to a salad? Two of them were labelled but one of them wasn’t…and it didn’t look too bad. From what Sara could see it was pretty fancy, and looked like it had been ordered rather than made. Shrugging, she took it out of the fridge then sat back with her teammates, ready to tuck in. 

Amaya raised an eyebrow. “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this. You know once you start eating, there’s no going back, right?”

Sara waved her away. “Whatever. They should’ve put their name on it if they didn’t want anyone to eat it.”

Opening the container, she found a chicken Caesar salad with blue cheese, bacon and avocado. Damn, whoever had this had good taste in food. Just not much common sense. Sara shrugged inwardly and continued to munch through the salad happily, savouring the flavours and enjoying food with real texture. Finishing the salad, she tossed the container in the bin, and patted her stomach contentedly, ignoring her teammates’ wide eyed stares.

“Sara, what are you gonna do if that was the Director’s lunch?”

Sara shrugged. “Tell him to label his food.”

A few days later, after training hard on the punch bag and on the pull up bar, Sara changed quickly in her room, then wandered in the kitchen wondering what she should eat. Her eyes landed on a sandwich on the counter. Inspecting it revealed it to be peanut butter and jelly. Sara could use a good old PB+J right now. She briefly thinks about which of her team could’ve left it there but her stomach overrules her morals and she wolfs it down, grabs herself a soda and heads back to her room. 

The next morning, there’s a sign on the fridge. It reads:

To whoever took my PB+J sandwich yesterday,   
Next time get your own!  
Sincerely,   
Someone who had no lunch yesterday!

Sara giggled to herself and thought Game on. She figured it was either Nate or Zari since no one else got so upset about food. Taking the sign down, she wrote her reply:

To whoever left their PB+J sandwich yesterday,  
Next time eat it before someone else does! You snooze you lose!  
Sincerely,  
Someone who really enjoyed that PB+J yesterday

“Gideon, don’t tell anyone who stole the sandwich.”

“Yes, Captain.”

When she gets hungry for lunch, she sees another note and smirks, before going to read it:

To the PB+J thief,  
Since you enjoyed that PB+J so much yesterday, I’ve reprogrammed Gideon and now it’s OFF the menu.   
Sincerely,  
Someone who really enjoyed the LAST PB+J

Sara frowned. “Gideon, make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

“I’m afraid that has been removed from my data banks, Captain Lance.”

“Who removed it? Zari?”

“I’m afraid there was no I.D for the person who removed it.”

Sara took the note down and wrote her reply:

To the new PB+J thief,   
This is war. Hope you like grey slop.  
Sincerely,   
Your worst nightmare

“Gideon, from now on, the only food available is the oatmeal we had in that medieval village.”

“The gruel, Captain?”

“Yup.”

The next few days were rough. The team was understandably pissed at her but she was determined not to lose this fight. She said she would lift the ban on food when her opponent came forward but everyone insisted it wasn’t them. 

“What are you gonna eat when Ava comes over?” Amaya asked exasperatedly.

Sara crossed her arms. “Ava will totally be on my side.”

“On your side about what?”

Sara turned as her girlfriend appeared through her time curtain. She smiled and bounded over to her and kissed her softly. 

“You’re here! I’ll explain later but first you, me, and bedroom.”

“Oh god, Sara, save it for IN the bedroom.” Nate groaned, covering his ears. 

About three hours later, Sara woke up to find her girlfriend missing. Huffing in disappointment, she put on her robe and went looking for her. The kitchen smelled good, with Sara frowning as her food ban was still on. There was an empty pan on the stove and a plate of salad on the counter. Someone had been cooking. Sara giggled that someone’s silly antics (and her own) over a PB+J had left the other team members resorting to having to cook for themselves. The salad looked good, with grilled chicken and lettuce. Looking around, there didn’t seem to be anyone around. Grabbing her fork, she started to tuck in. 

“Oh, My. God.”

Sara turned and saw her girlfriend looking at her in shock, her mouth full of lettuce. She swallowed and had the decency to look guilty. “Hey, babe, I was looking for you.”

Ava crossed her arms. “Here I am. I can’t believe you’re stealing my salad.”

Sara quickly put the plate down and grinned. “It’s not my fault! I had to put a ban on food, and it just looked so good!”

Ava raised an eyebrow. “You put a ban on food?”

Realising how awful that sounded, Sara shook her head. “Not entirely. There was one thing left on the menu.”

Gideon piped up. “Captain Lance allowed a thin, oatmeal like substance called Gruel from medieval England to remain on the menu.”

Ava’s mouth fell open. “That was you?!”

Sara frowned. “What? Wait…did you ban the PB+Js?!”

Ava started laughing. “Did you steal the one I left on the counter?”

Sara grinned sheepishly. “Maybe…”

Ava was shaking with her laughter now, almost doubling over. “Oh my god, that was for you, you dork!”

“So why did you write that sign?”

“I didn’t know you were the one who ate it!”

Sara pulled Ava into a hug. “I can’t believe we were fighting over a PB+J.”

Ava giggled again. “You were the one who declared war over it.”

Sara laughed with her. “Gideon, everything is back on the menu.”

“Including the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Captain?”

“Yes, Gideon, including the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I never want to eat gruel ever again.”

Laughing, Ava hugged her tightly. “God, you’re so cute, I can’t handle it.”

Sara smirked and kissed her gently. “I know. I’m the cutest.”

Ava kissed her back, a little harder. “Even if you are a pain in my ass. I only wrote the note in the first place because some jerk stole my salad at work last week.”

Too lost in Ava’s hug to listen properly, Sara just hummed in response. “Hmmm?”

“Yeah the one time I don’t put my name on it, it gets stolen. My favourite too, blue cheese, chicken and bacon. Sara? Sara, why are you running away? Where are you going?”


End file.
